From: Brian Holtz [brian@holtz.org]
Sent: Friday, November 02, 2001 5:18 PM
To: James Patrick Holding
Subject: Re: Holding rebutted on Trilemma


> If you insist on embarrassing yourself with your
> ignorance...I shall be only too happy to oblige.

In days gone by I might have sent a semi-sarcastic retort
about how wonderfully Christian such an attitude is, but
recent events have inspired me (as indicated in the last
two sentences below) to try to be even more
constructive and positive in my doings than before.
So I look forward to your reply to my rebuttal,
and hope that I will find it more constructive in tone
than the above.

-----Forwarded Message-----

My son's short life 

On Sep 14 2001 my wife and I held our 8-day-old son Blake in our arms
as he died from a catastrophic and inexplicable infarction in his
bowels. This has been a horrible experience for us, but we are drawing
strength from each other, our 17-month-old daughter, our families and
friends -- and from the principles and values by which we
live. Blake's short life has taught me a few things, some of which I'd
like to share.

1. I'm less superstitious than I feared I might be under circumstances
like these. I can find in myself no fear that Blake's death is 1)
punishment from some gods for my disbelief in them, or 2) karmic
payback to balance all the good fortune I've had in my life. The
latter fear is allayed by all the evidence of imbalance in the
fortunes of so many people. The former fear is canceled by the
awareness that such gods would be morally inferior to me if killing my
son were their punishment for me. I see Blake's death as neither
evidence for a vengeful God nor counter-evidence against a benevolent
God. The Problem of Evil was not a dispositive argument against theism
before Blake died, and it isn't one now.

2. My grief for Blake is based primarily on the combination of my
intense devotion to him and my sadness that his experience ended so
early. If instead of dying he had merely been separated from me for
the rest of his happy life (e.g. as an adoptee), my grief would be
much less. And if instead of such permanent separation he were merely
waiting for me in some afterlife paradise, then my grief would be
close to nonexistent. This makes me quite skeptical about any grieving
parent who would claim firm belief that his dead infant is in
heaven. Truly believing this should make such a death yield not grief
but joy, tinged perhaps only by the sort of wistfulness one might feel
for not having conceived one more child after one's youngest. That
wistfulness of course cannot compare to the stomach-knotting grief
that even the most religious parents must feel after losing a baby as
we lost Blake. I conclude that such parents really don't believe in
heaven as palpably as, e.g., a mother believes in the continued
existence of a child given up for adoption.

3. As tempting as it has always been to believe in an afterlife for
myself, it is even more tempting to believe that Blake is in heaven
right now. Unfortunately, there is no credible evidence for an
afterlife, and too much evidence that belief in it derives more from
emotional need than from critical thought. I believe Blake's
experience now is like it was one year ago, and like how mine will
someday be: painless non-existence. Blake lives on only in our hearts
and in our memories, just as I hope to live on through my genes and my
memes.

4. Losing Blake has increased my appreciation for that which I value,
as well as my awareness of how important it is to have a coherent
worldview built on strong values and rational principles. We
understand that Blake's death was not a part of some god's mysterious
plan, nor a meaningless event in a cruel universe. Rather, his short
life was like any other: a life to celebrate and give meaning to and
yield positive contribution from. We hope that Blake's life will
ultimately have made the world a better place by inspiring those who
know his story to create and share some of the extra love and vitality
and wisdom that we believe the world would have gotten from him.

Brian Holtz
http://humanknowledge.net